I am a white cis woman in my thirties. I blog about art, mathematics, politics, and whatever else I feel like. You can search for art, drawings, math, comments, tarot, yams, or neolalia.
[cw: self harm urges]
Followers, I need to go back off again. I don’t know for how long. In the past I have ignored danger signs about my mental wellness until I’m past the breaking point; I don’t want that to happen any more so it’s time to make radical changes before I start hurting myself again.
I am 99% sure I will be back someday, maybe before too long. I get a lot out of being on tumblr and I think some of my activity on here is meaningful.
Until whenever I come back I am wishing so many good things for my followers. I love you and want lots of good things to happen to you.
Bye for now. <3
The anxiety takes two forms this morning. One is a roaring rain of ash that drowns the senses. The other is a wild iridescent ocean of blue, green and gold whose enormous waves make a noise like SSSSHHHREEEENNNG like a sword being unsheathed. My boat is the size of a pinprick; it does not capsize but my arms and legs are wrapped around the mast as the singing waves toss it back and forth.
I have gotten through much worse than this, and I know I can get through this.
Job update: I keep saying “my interview will happen soon” and it keeps not happening. I got an email last night from one of the heads of the Lectureship Committee telling me that the Committee’s been held up by another matter that’s taking a lot longer than they thought it would. So they’re not blowing me off, it’s just bureaucracy. So anyway, it’s still in the future and I’m done saying “it should happen soon”; it happens when it happens, and that’s fine.
The latest happy typo: Weirld.
I dreamed last night that I and a woman I know were paving the entrance courtyard of the UC Berkeley Mathematics Department with large flat white stones held together with white clay, and that we had developed a differential equation to model the settling of the stones and the clay. The sun was strong and the rafters above the courtyard were very very high.